By: Anna Marie | July 10, 2017
1. “Can I bring [insert significant other here] too?”
When we call or text you to hang out, most of the time it’s implied that it’ll be a one-on-one sesh. The last thing we want is you dragging your PDA along to make us feel like the third wheel.
2. “Don’t worry. The right person will come along.”
Gag me. It’s the sympathy ‘pat on the head.’ No one wants to hear this; perhaps you suggest a personal story, a great meet-up spot (see #3), or don’t comment at all.
3. “You should just, you know, make yourself available.”
I am available. Did you not hear the part where I’m single?
4. “Are you gay?”
No, I’m not. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I am trying to come to terms with my own sexuality. I could have just: had a bad breakup, am a workaholic, have a slew of dreams I’m trying to pursue, or need some personal time.
5. “Just get out there.”
Where? Where’s there? Do you have a road map that will lead me to the land of milk & honey—where good-looking, successful, and kind-hearted singles are waiting to ambush me with the same desire and thought process I have for them? Please explain.
6. “So [insert significant other] and I went to the hot tub, and some random person wouldn’t leave.”
Umm…I didn’t realize the community pool was exclusive to you and your significant other. Why don’t we just go ahead and sit at the back of the bus for crying out loud. Would that make you feel better?
7. “Maybe it’s you…”
Maybe. But I doubt it. I’m pretty awesome.
Maybe you’re needy and haven’t been alone since 8th grade.
8. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll work itself out.”
I’m not.
9. “I feel like you’re a loner anyway.”
Last time I checked, I’ve tried getting together with you multiple times, but your too busy being in a relationship. Thoughts?
10. “Want to grab a drink or hang out?”
Absolutely. It would be great to see you! 🙃